I fucking love him.
Like a sheep.
We’ll see if I’m more than my hair. Also if my confidence is not dependent on my vanity….I’m gonna be honest…I’m a little terrified. And excited.
because it sounds like I’m either muttering spells or speaking pareseltongue, depending on the number of s’s.
Seriously. It’s like a bad knock, knock joke. Today I realized two things. First, my contact with males is extremely limited. Second, the men I do associate with on a regular basis are more enlightened, thoughtful, sensitive, and in tune with my feminist ideals (they’re also usually gay). How did I come to this (not-so-startling) realization? By being put into a social, group-work situation where the men were so…hegemonically masculine that I couldn’t speak a complete sentence throughout the entire conversation.
I wanted to stop him and be like,
“Look, I realize you’ve been raised in a patriarchal society and with that has come certain socialized assumptions, one of which is that as a white male, there is no doubt in your mind that whatever you are about to say is infinitely more important than what I am currently saying. But, if you interrupt me one more time I WILL reach across this aisle-way and slap you across the face.”
Given the time and location it didn’t seem an appropriate moment, so I refrained. Although, I don’t know why I should be so polite when patriarchy is rude and deliberately offensive all day, every day.
And that was my feminist knock, knock joke of the day.
TW: Rape, Conservative Politics
If you want to enrage a conservative, I suggest saying the following:
1. A Socialist wrote the Pledge of Allegiance.
2. Jesus healed the sick and helped the poor, for free. […]
6. The Founding Fathers were liberals.
7. Fascism is a right-wing trait. […]
10. Reagan raised taxes eleven times as President.
11. Reagan legalized abortion as Governor of California.
12. Nixon created the Environmental Protection Agency.
13. Ronald Reagan supported gun control. […]
24. Hate is not a Christian virtue. […]
26. Republicans spend MORE money than Democrats. […]
29. The Constitution is the law, NOT the Bible.
30. Sharia law doesn’t exist in America.
31. The President is NOT a Muslim.
32. Corporations are NOT people. People are people.
33. Fox News isn’t real news, it’s just a racist, sexist, hateful, right-wing propaganda machine.
34. The Federal Reserve was a Republican idea.
35. Women are equal citizens who deserve equal rights. […]
37. Abortion is a relevant medical procedure, just ask Rick Santorum.
38. Please use spell check.
39. It’s “pundit”, not “pundint”.
40. Social Security is solvent through 2038. […]
42. Roe v. Wade was a bipartisan ruling made by a conservative leaning Supreme Court. […]
45. Barack Obama ordered the killing of Osama Bin Laden. It took him two and half years to do what Bush couldn’t do in eight. […]
47. 9/11 happened on George W. Bush’s watch, therefore he did NOT keep America safe. […]
49. Separation of church and state is in the Constitution, it’s called the First Amendment.
50. Muslims are protected by the Constitution, just as much as Christians. […]
53. America is a nation of immigrants, therefore we are all anchor babies.
54. The white race isn’t disappearing, it’s evolving. […]
56. Evolution is real.
57. The Earth is 4.54 billion years old, not 6,000.
58. The Founding Fathers did not free the slaves.
59. The Revolution was NOT fought over slavery.
60. Paul Revere warned the Americans, NOT the British.
61. Federal law trumps state law.
62. The Civil War was about slavery, NOT state’s rights.
63. Corporations care more about profits than they do about people.
64. Getting out of a recession requires government spending.
65. Glenn Beck is a nut-job. […]
67. Republicans don’t want to pay for your birth control, but they want you to pay for their Viagra.
68. Republicans actually NEED Viagra.
69. Fox News is owned by an Australian and has a Saudi prince as an investor.
70. Republicans complain about immigrants taking American jobs, then freely give American jobs to foreigners overseas. […]
72. Labor unions built this country. […]
77. Republicans only care about children BEFORE they are born. […]
82. Churches should stay out of politics, or be taxed. […]
88. The current corporate tax rate is the lowest in 60 years, so stop whining about it being too high. […]
98. Republicans say teachers are union thugs, then proceed to rape and mug the entire middle class on behalf of corporations.
99. Republicans think rape isn’t a crime, but miscarriages are.
Bottom line? If you want to anger a conservative, tell them the truth.
This counts as Latin homework….RIGHT? There’s Latin in Harry Potter….
Username is SpellErised142 if you would like to be friends!
It’s a good thing to because every damn one of my beezy-ass friends had gotten in and I was on the verge of being terrifying.
But at least they play things like Adele and Cee Lo Green. I ENJOY IT.